Too many things.
I'm firmly convinced that I'm the reincarnation of Mark Twain -- but without nearly his talent. (Although I do have luscious, thick hair and, if I wanted to, could grow a mustache to put his to shame). I'm well along my way to becoming the crankiest guy I know. Less tolerant, quicker to criticize some things that are new to me, and bemoaner of the young and their music.
You know. A major pain in the ass.
But when a writing project is going well, I almost feel like I'm back in my 20's.
When dinosaurs roamed the earth.
A lot of writers will tell you that after a number of years the writing is the easiest part of writing. Getting your ass down in the chair to start writing is the second hardest thing to do (second after making a sale, that is).
And sometimes I'll do anything to not write. I've never figured it out. Fear of failure? Fear of success? Fear of forgetting to TiVo Days of Our Lives? I just don't get it.
There are a gazillion ways I can avoid sitting down and doing what I tell everyone else I do with my life.
Sometimes it's productive -- like cleaning the apartment. Giving the stove its annual cleaning, killing dust bunnies which have grown to Harvey size, vacuuming the carpet and seeing its original color again, putting away my clothes and once again exposing the bed I never use because it's too hard for my back.
Sometimes it's not -- like going to Safeway to buy stuff I could have easily bought the previous day, spending far longer than necessary with e-mail, Facebook and this journal, reorganizing my hard drives, going for a drive to see if my Lotto dream house has been sold yet.
So I finally had to fool myself. I decided to write at night. There are less distractions: less stores open, less decent programs on TV, less phone calls (these days that's an extra blessing), less able to see my Lotto dream house at night.
The fact I've always been a night owl helps, too.
This is the love/hate aspect of writing and composing. I love it when it's going well and I'm in The Zone, but I hate summoning the discipline to sit down and try to get into The Zone, even when I suspect it will be a successful session.
I just don't get it.
I'm not one of those naive writers who "waits for inspiration". Writing is a journeyman task, not an orgasmic spewing of art from a grand moment of inspiration. (Don't get me wrong, on the rare occasion that actually happens, it's better than sex ... if memory serves.)
And far less messy.
So many of my writing friends sit down every single day for a number of hours and write -- whether it's usable or crap, they sit there and produce something, anything, on a daily basis. This is how true professionals usually work.
Excuse me while I check my e-mail and Facebook.
[Insert cricket noises]
Okay, I'm back. What was I talking about? Oh, yeah. How true professionals ignore distractions and write every day.
When I finally do sit down to write, I usually produce a lot. More than a lot of other writers might in a week or two. I wrote an episode of Magnum P.I. in one 18-hour sitting. As I posted earlier, I wrote a spec script for Two and a Half Men in about six hours. I've written three stage scores in a single month each. That's about 40-45 songs.
So do I feel guilty about not writing every day? I guess not.
Am I totally devoid of passion when it comes to my writing? I suppose not.
Do I wish I had put more effort in trying to find a decent agent and sell more of my writing?
Look! The stove needs cleaning.
Next: Why Do I Have Come Up with "Next" Teasers Each Time?
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